Family members/Siblings/Friends

“As I was crying in your arms,
you tried to stop my tears.
You held me tight, so that I could continue to cry alone.
This is how you helped me.”
Hans Curt Flemming


Family / Relatives / Friends


People who have the chance to meet your child can later share their memories of your child with you. Invite your family and close friends to meet and greet your child without having any expectations and keep in mind that not all people are able to do so.

Through the birth of your child:


• you become parents
• the mother becomes a grandmother, her grandchild is born
• the father becomes a grandfather, it is his grandchild
• the sister becomes an aunt and the brother an uncle

Let your family, relatives, godmother, godfather, and friends be a part of the birth of your child. Sharing this experience will help to create mutual understanding and will provide support for the road that lies ahead.

Siblings

Include the siblings in the loss, so that they can understand why their parents are so sad.

• let the siblings touch and hold the child
• use simple words to explain what happened
• help them work on crafts
• let them draw
• help them write a letter
• craft a paper boat and put it in the water
• release sky balloons
• please avoid telling your kids that the child is sleeping
• read and look at children’s books about grief, i.e., Jolante sucht Crisula, Sebastian Loth
• allow siblings to participate in the funeral if they are comfortable with it

Helpful information for people outside the family

…my dearest hope….(written by Kerstin Birkeland, Herzensbilder.ch)