… then I sincerely hope….

written by Kerstin Birkeland, the founder of herzensbilder.ch, for a family that has lost their 4-year-old daughter to cancer.

Today she has opened her wings, your little fairy
today you had to let her fly
to the sky and to the stars…
Life is not fair….

you had wanted to accompany her through life for a long time…
I am so sorry….
we are thinking of you, very very very intensely …..
and so many lights are burning for your little and infinitely brave fairy and you …
every time a herzenbilderkind has to say farewell to this earth….
flying away to the place we go,
when life here comes to an end …

then I sincerely hope….
that people know
that every card that finds the way to this family,
is infinitely precious and you will never forget
who sent words…
even if these words are just “I have no words,
I’m just so close to you with my heart “
that is so much already…

then I sincerely hope
that people know
that every sign is infinitely important,
then, when the heart is so badly hurt….
a “we’re thinking of you” in front of the front door….
whatever was put in front of it…
you will never forget that either…
no matter if it was a plaited loaf or a lantern or whatever…..

then I sincerely hope
that people know that so little can be so much
… a multimedia text on which the family sees a candle burning for them in their home…
… a text “Shall I put a pan of bolognaise sauce at the door at 6 p.m., so that you have something filling to eat?”

then I sincerely hope
that, even if it is infinitely sad,
to go to the funeral of a child,
the people will come and be there….
because nothing can console more in this moment than a full church…
than a whole lot of people who came especially…
and you will never forget that they were there….

then I sincerely hope
that there are people,
who do not walk faster or hide behind the shelves,
then, when this mum goes shopping for the first time, after her child flew to the stars…..
that they say anything at all…
something like,
“I do not know what to say, but I cannot just run past you like nothing has happened”
or “I’m so sorry…”

that there are people who approach the dad,
when he gets back to work
and who don’t just pretend that nothing happened

then I sincerely hope
that there are people,
who ask the mourning family,
what would be good for them or….
what helps and what does not….
what would be helpful and what simply isn’t possible at the moment…
they can give information…
they know the answers…
it’s so much more valuable if you ask
rather than deciding yourself that they must surely want to be left in peace
or certainly not be talked to and nothing gets done in the end…
and maybe it is not the way one has concocted the situation…

then I sincerely hope
that there are people,
who understand that it now does not hurt infinitely
and soon again not….
who understand that for an endlessly long time every sign from the outside,
that people think of one,
that people think of the star child,
is infinitely important for the seriously blessed heart…